Sunday Muse

LONDON, United Kingdom

June 10, 2007 (Sunday)

It is a beautiful Sunday evening. I had a banana time at the G-A-Y~late. As I walked in, I found myself among rice queens. For the unaware ones of you, the term 'rice queen' means a Caucasian homosexual male who is strongly attracted to Oriental homosexual males, in most cases, to Southeast Asian men. I was enjoying my time with my German friend, Irish and Polish acquaintances and their Malay boyfriends.

Luckily, I have known these people for some time and they are very fun to be with. Apparently, according to my Malay and European mates, I am a 'Twinkie' since I have a fold on my eyelids and other minor reasons. There are Twinkie cookies in the United States, which are wheat yellow outside with white cream inside, simply saying, whitewashed. That is where the term 'Twinkie' used by gay men comes from.

Out of the blue, one guy dragged me from the coach and started singing,
"I am just a real girl
Living in real world…"

That was quite unexpected and pleasant. He was a Brazilian Rodrigo Santoro look-alike from São Paolo. I always admired Brazil and wrote my Bachelor's thesis about the Brazilian media influence on audiences. We were dancing until we were out of breath. I will keep the rest to myself…

Later in the night I was mesmerized by the model-like Japanese lad from Tokyo. He was a recent psychology graduate and a Londoner for the last three years. We found some similarities between us. We both like Yutaka Ozaki's music and have a high respect for Kato Tokika's talent. Fortuitously, I took Japanese courses for a month two years ago, learned a famous song and still could say few things in it. This young chap was so handsome, innocent dreamer and a kind charmer. I had an ass-tacular time and was glad to be out enjoying my youth.

I realized that I was smoking L&M cigarettes that my ex got me before the break-up. I definitely need to quit… At that instant I understood that I would rather be with my simple and loving Scandinavian ex than with the banana Brazilian or the jolly Japanese. Of course, it was a silly thought and my mistake for thinking that. I assumed it was one of those 'minute weaknesses' and told myself to move on. So I did…

However, in the last ten days, my ex appeared three times in my dreams. Honestly, I do miss my Scandinavian ex, good times we had together and I already let the grudge go. No reason and no place for past wounds because life goes on. I do not know what it means to see your ex in your dream and I did not look it up on the Internet. I see no point of doing so. Well, I guess by the time, everything will be fine.

Productive week start to all and less grumpy Mondays,

~ζ