Mellow Monday

LONDON, United Kingdom

June 11, 2007 (Monday)

It is Monday evening and I have enjoyed my time in The City. Couple of days ago I came across this phrase and it kind of struck me.

"When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you. When you cry, you cry alone."

Honestly, I think, it is true. At the times of hardship, you realize who is crying with you and who is laughing at you. My Greek friend told me an ancient myth about why people look for the special one and put all possible efforts. According to the tale, ancient god was so angry with humans, he split every individual in half and scattered them throughout the world. That is why, according to the story, people look for their half to be united and happy.

On the other note, some people are good at rejecting. A friend of mine in Russia told me some interesting things and I admit that there is truth to them. Some people get intimidated in a company of outstanding individuals and insecure but feel very special among followers. Some prefer to look up onto leaders or look down onto followers. The point is whether you are a leader or a follower, it is easier for some to reject rather than to follow or lead, especially, if there is nothing to lose. It kind of reminds me one Asian saying that the tiger feels like a lion among monkeys and like a mouse among lions.

I have been trying to access my bank account online today but no luck. Damn... The website keeps saying that my user name and password are incorrect. My online banking was installed to my Scandinavian ex's laptop and I think that might be the issue. The bank's website states that only one computer can have access to the account. I thought we did everything correct but I guess there are some security ticks that need to be un-ticked so I can access it from my laptop.

Talking about laptops... It worries me that my ex's presence is still everywhere - from my 1881 shower gel to my laptop and clothes I am wearing - but I think it is a temporary condition. I guess it is normal. I am sure it will pass with the time. I acknowledge my mistakes that I did not respect my ex at times, sometimes took things for granted and told lies on few occasions. In a way, it is my youthful rigidness and I had few grudges myself. However, it feels so much better once I let the past grudges go.

I hardly give promises but always say that I will try hard. Well, this time I will respect my Scandinavian ex and give whatever time needed to fully process the whole attack incident. I just remembered that I have read some facts about Danish men where the author fully supports his claims with facts. The author says that if you do not contact French men, they will go crazy. If you do not contact Danish men first or take the initiative, they will not have enough courage to call, forget you and never bother again. In a way, it is true that some Danish men are too timid, self-reserved and do not embrace their masculinity. However, I think it does not apply to all Danish men. The author also states that Danish women are more initiative and stronger. Interesting...

Not long ago someone asked me what is my type. Honestly, there is already too much discrimination against homosexuals anyway. Therefore, I do not have a particular type. I simply think that gay people need to embrace their differences rather than discriminate each other against age, race, religion, social or professional background. Of course, people have certain tendencies. Well, throughout my experience, I realized that the spiritual connection and peace is the most important in any relationship.

Best of spiritual connections,

~ζ